The DeBeers Delusion
Love the woman you marry or marry the woman you love. - Heard that one before? Its fucking popular with the aunties. I guess ideally, you marry the woman you love and then you learn to love her after the fireworks are over.
But I've come to figure that emotionally I'm incredibly volatile, and as much as I hate it, I find myself completely ruled by my emotions. It's a bit of a debacle when you realise that unlike the marriage that should last as long as a DeBeers diamond, being in love doesn't. And what if you cannot or don't want to be in a relationship where you're not in love? Some people call it dealing with life or growing up or getting real... but I wonder if it's just people getting jaded with the ideals they once lived for.
And its strange when you realise that the masses are more comfortable with husbands and wives having affairs while fronting a happy union, than with divorce, if only marginally. It's about having love, not being in love. they'll say... But I think being in love's important, even if it has me quickly sorted into the meat pile that is "young, foolish & idealistic".
What to do? There's alot of merit to dying young.
I've been trying to digest this concept for years and all I've got from it is diarhoea and serial monogamy.
I've been in love in a relationship for a few months now. It's fantastic, if a little inconvenient because time moves at warp speed when we're together and between work and sleep there's so little time left...and I wouldn't have it any other way. But... if only by statistic I know that being in love doesn't last a lifetime, which means that at some point I'll have to decide if I'm still young, foolish & idealistic or if I've grown up.
To tell the truth, I don't ever want to grow up.
But I don't want to fall out of love either.
But I've come to figure that emotionally I'm incredibly volatile, and as much as I hate it, I find myself completely ruled by my emotions. It's a bit of a debacle when you realise that unlike the marriage that should last as long as a DeBeers diamond, being in love doesn't. And what if you cannot or don't want to be in a relationship where you're not in love? Some people call it dealing with life or growing up or getting real... but I wonder if it's just people getting jaded with the ideals they once lived for.
And its strange when you realise that the masses are more comfortable with husbands and wives having affairs while fronting a happy union, than with divorce, if only marginally. It's about having love, not being in love. they'll say... But I think being in love's important, even if it has me quickly sorted into the meat pile that is "young, foolish & idealistic".
What to do? There's alot of merit to dying young.
I've been trying to digest this concept for years and all I've got from it is diarhoea and serial monogamy.
I've been in love in a relationship for a few months now. It's fantastic, if a little inconvenient because time moves at warp speed when we're together and between work and sleep there's so little time left...and I wouldn't have it any other way. But... if only by statistic I know that being in love doesn't last a lifetime, which means that at some point I'll have to decide if I'm still young, foolish & idealistic or if I've grown up.
To tell the truth, I don't ever want to grow up.
But I don't want to fall out of love either.
posted by paul at 11:11 PM
4 Comments:
Hi ah sia kia,
Enjoy it while u are at it.. and hope yours will last like a Debeers lifetime... Glad u found someone you are so in love with.. it ain't easy, especially when you have the person love you back.. keep the sparks going.. i wish you both well... ;)
thanks, m.
Haven been in love for q a while. No time, no person, and prob a general lack of enthusiasm on my part cos i feel that i got better things to do. Guess i feel this way becos i sorta see the fireworks ending one day, and am sorta afraid abt what that will all mean. It'll then become a responsibility. Think it's something that all guys have to deal with at some point in their lives.
Being in love is a CHOICE, sweetie.
It is what one chose to see of one's partner.
It is of choosing to look at his beauty and purity, not of magnifying the annonyance or bad habits.
It is of choosing to let go of fear and self-protection.
It is about making a choice, and living with the consequences of what one chose to see in her partner.
And it is also about taking responsibility for having made that choice.
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