Growing
It's always like that. I think, just for one second, that I'm starting to get a hold of things, starting to mature a little, getting into being my own man, and life screams back
YA THINK?!
Yesterday I felt about 1" tall whilst speaking with someone at work whom I had hurt by means of a misdirected SMS... Yeah, one of those messages that you send to the wrong person (usually the one that you're talking about IN the SMS). It wasn't extremely derogatory, but it simply had no place in a professional setting.
During the aftermath discussions at home, conclusions trekked back to the long-established rule of not mixing personal emotions with the workplace - which if you think about, humans being emotional beings, is pretty fucking unnatural... which would explain why... ohhh. Right.
It seems that the solution to my little work dilemma at the moment is to swallow shit when I need to. To patronize when necessary. Manage other's opinions of me. "Grow up", as I was told... as I'm starting to think... And it's triggered panic in all the little cells in my body that I'd once promised that I'd never grow up.
But who cares how I feel? A job is a job. And a grown-up ought to know that. And besides, I still struggle not to confuse affirming my own feelings with getting self-righteous. At times like these, I do think maybe its just time to leave the boy in me behind... but I worry that if I did, I'd become just another one of everybody else.
Anguish: Waiting for the ambulance
that came late.
YA THINK?!
Yesterday I felt about 1" tall whilst speaking with someone at work whom I had hurt by means of a misdirected SMS... Yeah, one of those messages that you send to the wrong person (usually the one that you're talking about IN the SMS). It wasn't extremely derogatory, but it simply had no place in a professional setting.
During the aftermath discussions at home, conclusions trekked back to the long-established rule of not mixing personal emotions with the workplace - which if you think about, humans being emotional beings, is pretty fucking unnatural... which would explain why... ohhh. Right.
It seems that the solution to my little work dilemma at the moment is to swallow shit when I need to. To patronize when necessary. Manage other's opinions of me. "Grow up", as I was told... as I'm starting to think... And it's triggered panic in all the little cells in my body that I'd once promised that I'd never grow up.
But who cares how I feel? A job is a job. And a grown-up ought to know that. And besides, I still struggle not to confuse affirming my own feelings with getting self-righteous. At times like these, I do think maybe its just time to leave the boy in me behind... but I worry that if I did, I'd become just another one of everybody else.
Anguish: Waiting for the ambulance
that came late.
posted by paul at 2:48 AM
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